Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
