I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
did i walk over a car last night?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
