I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
