pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
