But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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