oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
