My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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