i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
