Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
