I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
