I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
