I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
