I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
