I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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