This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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