There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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