it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
