So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
