I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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