I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just pee around me
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
