Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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