Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
