It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
