Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm bleeding and have questions
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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