Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
