Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
