The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
A+ Viking dick
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize