I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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