TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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