I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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