i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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