If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I deserve this hangover.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
