Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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