No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize