Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
