tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
