I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
