It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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