He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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