just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
His nipple licking is glorious
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