just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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