Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
