my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
