i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
