Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
