windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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