Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
