Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
