U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
