Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
