we're chasing vodka with high fives
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize