I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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