Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
it's great music for shaving your balls
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
