They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize