I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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