The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
